Hanakotoba
by shinysylver
Summary: The events on Sōkyoku Hill deeply affect Byakuya. After nearly losing everything he begins to wonder if it is too late to change his relationships with those closest to him. Can Renji and Rukia show him that bonds are a strength not a weakness?


_Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and am making no profit off of this story._

_AN: Hanakotoba means "language of flowers" in Japanese. Each chapter of this fic will be based off of the meanings of a different flower. The flower symbolism used may be from the Japanese tradition but I am not going to restrict myself and may use European interpretations if they fit the story. Each chapter title will be the name of the flower in Japanese. The story begins at the end of the Soul Society arc and may incorporate any canon after that that fits my story. I primarily watch the anime but am familiar with the manga. _

**Hanakotoba**

**T****he Language of Flowers**

**Chapter One: Sakura**

_AN: In the Japanese Language of Flowers cherry blossoms mean kind or gentle. In Japanese culture the cherry blossom has many symbolic meanings. Its short blooming period is seen as representative of the transience of life and is therefore connected to mortality. It has also been associated with militaristic enterprises having been painted on World War II planes and planted in conquered areas as a symbol of Japanese territorial control. Interestingly enough for Bleach fans, cherry blossoms have been associated with Samurai life and in particular have symbolized drops of a Samurai's blood which brings to mind the scene where Byakuya's blood drops transform into his reiatsu. And of course for the purpose of any Bleach fic cherry blossoms are intimately associated with Byakuya regardless of any of their other meanings._

Byakuya had been sure that he was dying. Even after Unohana-taichō told him he would make a full recovery he hadn't believed her. He was hardly delicate but who survives a direct Zanpakutō strike through the heart? If he had realized that he really would live to see another day he may have hesitated before baring his soul to Rukia. He thought she deserved to know the truth but showing that level of weakness was difficult and he would have really preferred it to be a death bed confession. Instead he had to deal with the softness in her eyes when she visited him in the hospital. The concern and familiarity that he never asked for and certainly didn't deserve made him uncomfortable.

He was the last person that she should be directing that concern towards. Familial obligation he could handle but actual personal concern was so...awkward...especially under the circumstances. He had offered to execute her himself after all. Did she not remember that? And she wasn't even the worst.

Byakuya looked over to the corner of the room where his lieutenant had set up a small table in order to keep up with the divisional paperwork. Renji was so much worse. Byakuya had intended to kill the man and nearly succeeded and yet Renji still sat at his bedside for hours each day. As far as Byakuya could tell, he wasn't even holding a grudge. If anything Renji seemed to actually respect him now where before it had been feigned. Byakuya wished they would hate him. It would be so much easier to understand. Hate is what he would feel if he were in their shoes.

Byakuya looked away from Renji's desk and gazed unseeing out the window. He made a point to never regret the decisions he made yet somehow he was mired in regret this time. He had allowed his own weaknesses to make him a tool for Aizen and in the process had betrayed everything that he believed in. He had broken nearly every promise he had ever made. They lay shattered on Sōkyoku Hill. Byakuya had vowed to protect Rukia and instead fought to execute her. He had promised to keep his wife's secrets but had instead betrayed them to Rukia.

The one vow he had managed to keep was the one he had made to his parents that he would never again break the rules. A promise that he now wished he had never made. Yes, he had saved his sister but not until he knew that Aizen was a traitor and that the execution was a manipulation of some sort. The entire time Rukia was imprisoned others had questioned the execution, had wondered at its true intent, except him. He had blindly accepted the order without even trying to stop it within the legal framework. And worst of all he had shown her no compassion.

Byakuya had felt nothing but duty towards Rukia since the day he found her. It had been his duty to take her in and look after her. The thought of a true personal bond had never really crossed his mind so when she was imprisoned it had been easier to distance himself from her. Seeing her in her cell had reminded him that he had failed to keep her safe and protected so it had been easier to just not visit. It had made sense to him at the time but now he had doubts. She certainly had no qualms about visiting him now. She had even remained in Soul Society after the Ryoka left and Byakuya knew that he was part of the reason. Every day she came to visit him and as much as it made him uncomfortable he would never ask her to stop.

Byakuya's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar reiatsu entering the hospital and idly wondered if you really could summon someone with your thoughts. He closed his eyes and tried to prepare himself for visitors.

"Nii-sama?" Rukia asked quietly from the doorway a few minutes later. "Are you awake?"

He shifted towards the door and opened his eyes in answer. She stood at the doorway for a moment looking hesitant, the way she always did, before she came in and sat in the seat next to his bed.

"How are you feeling today, Nii-sama?" She asked formally. She was tense like she always was when in his presence. It was obvious that she feared him but her eyes were once again soft, almost pitying. He didn't understand how she could fear him and care for him at the same time.

"I am improving." He stated flatly. "Unohana-taichō believes that I will be able to leave tomorrow."

"That is good news, Nii-sama." Rukia replied, once again formal.

Normally he would have found comfort in the formality but after a week of these exchanges it was beginning to grate. He knew Rukia was never formal outside of her role in the Kuchiki clan. He had seen her laughing with Renji outside his room just yesterday when they thought he was asleep. There had been no tension between them. He had been surprised to find himself jealous that they could be so at ease, so _happy._ He had never felt that with anyone but Hisana and he was beginning to find that he missed it. He was sure that that desire for closeness was a weakness but at the moment he really didn't care.

"Rukia," He said before he could second guess himself. "You don't need to be so formal when we are alone."

She looked up in surprise. "Nii-sama?"

"Tell me about your day. The way you would if I were one of your friends."

Her eyes were almost comically wide when she began to talk. "Well, I got up early to practice a bit before breakfast. My powers are starting to come back and I was able to manage my Shikai today. Then I ate breakfast with Renji-"

"You've been seeing a lot of Renji lately." He observed.

"He used to be a good friend of mine. We grew up together like family and then...well things changed." She said defensively.

"You mean I changed things." Byakuya stated. "I wasn't judging you Rukia, I was just observing. I was not aware of your past together until recently. At least not the extent of it."

Rukia seemed to relax a little. "Renji never dealt well with the adoption. He thought it meant he wasn't good enough anymore. That for some reason he had to prove he was worthy of my friendship. We grew apart."

"But now..." Byakuya prompted after a moment.

"To be honest, I'm not sure if he feels worthy now that he's a lieutenant or if he's decided it doesn't matter, but things almost feel like they used to." Rukia continued. "He's like a brother to me."

Byakuya was surprised at the pain he felt when she said that Renji was like a brother. It seemed to emphasize exactly how unlike a brother he was to her.

"Tell me about your childhood." He asked a bit impulsively, wanting to know this girl who he had made his sister.

"What...what do you want to know?" She asked uncomfortably.

"Anything. Just tell me anything." He said.

"Well...I'm sure you know that things were rough for me as a child but sometimes there were moments so beautiful and perfect that even now I ache remembering them. There was one day at the river when..."

Byakuya leaned back and closed his eyes, listening his to sister tell stories of rivers full of floating flowers and of first tastes of candy. He knew she was just choosing the happy moments to share but for now that was enough.

Sometime later as Rukia was in the middle of a particularly rousing story of how she had outsmarted a street vendor into giving her twice the candy at half the price they both became aware of another presence.

"That's not how I remember it." Renji laughed from the doorway a moment later. "I remember you coming back to find out that that damn vendor had filled the bottom of the sack with rocks. You actually got less for your money."

"You must be mistaken." Rukia said primly.

"Uh huh." Renji said still laughing as he made his way over to the table in the corner and began shuffling through the stack of papers. "Don't mind me, I'm just going to take some of these back to the office-"

"Don't leave on my account." Rukia said standing up. "I've got a Shinigami Women's Association meeting soon and should be on my way."

"Rukia," Byakuya hesitated a moment knowing that Renji was watching closely. "Thank you for entertaining me."

"You're welcome, Nii-sama." Rukia replied with a slight bow before turning and leaving the room.

Byakuya watched her back, observing that she was still a bit tense and guarded but that the fear she had radiated earlier seemed to be gone. How an afternoon spent telling stories had made her feel that much more comfortable he wasn't sure but he was glad. He didn't want his sister to fear him. And to his surprise he had enjoyed himself. Listening to her lighthearted adventures had made him think of the many hours he had spent chasing Yoruichi in his own youth. Not that he would ever let the demon cat know that he found those memories more fond than annoying.

The sound of rustling paper drew Byakuya's attention to his fukutaichō. The man was sitting at the small table in the corner intently studying the papers in front of him. Renji still had a few bandages visible underneath his shihakushō from their fight but otherwise seemed to be in excellent health and nearly back to normal. The only difference was that he seemed to be lighter, more comfortable in Byakuya's presence than he had been before the invasion. Byakuya supposed it could have to do with his finally mastering Bankai but somehow didn't think it was that simple.

Renji had only been his lieutenant for a few distinctly unpleasant months. Looking back, Byakuya was able to acknowledge his role in their strained relationship. His first impressions of Renji may have been a bit unfair. When the man had walked into his office with all of those damned tattoos Byakuya had immediately begun drafting a letter of protest to Yamamoto-sōtaichō. And when Renji had opened his mouth proving his impulsive and uncouth nature, Byakuya decided to actually send the letter. Of course the Captain Commander had denied his transfer request and told him that he could use to lighten up which Byakuya had found a bit hypocritical.

He had tried a few more times to have Renji reassigned, most recently after his fukutaichō had fought Ichigo. Looking back on it locking him up and trying to get rid of him may have been a slight over reaction. As far as Byakuya knew, Renji was fully aware of the campaign he had waged against him and yet here he was proving himself unexpectedly loyal. If Renji had wanted a transfer he would not be denied. Not after Byakuya had unleashed Bankai on him. Byakuya felt humbled by his lieutenant and it took a lot to humble a Kuchiki.

"Renji," Byakuya said quietly. "When I am discharged we need to start training your Bankai."

Renji looked up in surprise, most likely because he had never offered to help his lieutenant train before. "Sir?"

"Unfortunately I don't think Aizen is going to give you fourteen years to master it, but since you have proven my estimation of your abilities wrong before, perhaps we can speed up the process."

It wasn't actually an apology but it was as close as Byakuya could get.


End file.
